Manners and Movies don't Mix

Last week my family and I braved the crowds to watch Harry Potter.  I was looking forward to this time together. Once inside the theater I started hoping I was not going to regret that decision.  This was not based on my family’s behavior, but the behavior of others.  I am happy to report that while there were indications  (prior to the movie starting) that the audience would have ill-mannered members it actually behaved quite well (all except some idiot with a laser pointer. )

The idiot with the laser pointer was tame compared to some of my theater experiences.  Seems like manners and movies don’t really mix these days. (Though many of us would agree manners in general have been on the decline.) I thought I would compile a list of offenses (none that should be new to you) that usually send me scrambling for the movie theater manager.  (That’s right this woman is a tattletale.) And some ways I handle these situations that may work for you too.  

An infant in the movie theater

Get a babysitter!  (I adore babies and children, but even I draw the line here. )

Under aged children watching inappropriate movies

Poor parenting skills, selfish, ignorant and unaware? 

(Dare I say… all of these?  Yup – I dare.)

Talking during the movies

What about this situation makes you think you are at home? Go to the nearest

Startbucks if you need time to verbally socialize.  (I have been known to yell “ENOUGH – BE QUITE NOW” in my best angry mommy voice. This usually works. Even my husband trembles.)

Cell phones or texting

I must admit with the whole texting craze cell phone are not ringing. I don’t mind this actually, but should my kids (or group) I am with start texting -  I use my best dirty looks.  (I have perfected my dirty looks to academy award level acting. Watch our Merle Streep.)

Kicking a chair or putting feet up on the chair you are sitting in.

Don't parents raise their kids to keep their feet off the furniture? 

(Only solution is to pull an Ace Ventura Pet Detective. Stand up, turn towards the person behind you, wave your hand in front of your face (like there is a bad odor) and yell,  “PU!  Your feet smell like crap! Could you please keep them down and away from me!”  Works everytime. Makes Jim Carrey proud.)

Laser pointer

Someone thinking it is amusing to project a laser onto the screen while the movie is on.

(I would have loved to have taken that laser pointer and shoved it up a certain unmentionable orifice. Fortunately for the laser owner I could not triangulate their position.)

Leaving trash.

This sloppy, shocking behavior can be attributed to the decline of western civilization.

 ( It’s either that or these people live in filth homes, and have never heard of trash cans and personal responsibility.)

There you have it. 

At least 7 annoying activities people do in the movie theater to drive us (or possibly just me) crazy.  If you have more activities to add to the list please share. And if you have crazy stories to tell – DO TELL!  (Best story gets 2 free movie passes to AMC)

MOVIES vs REAL LIFE

Every summer my family and I look forward to summer movie blockbusters. These expensive well-publicized movies usually mark the beginning of summer, and give us something to look forward too. This year there just did not seem to be any movie that really stood out and got us excited. (It's what we call a "total movie bummer.")

A week ago I published an industry blog about the reality that one views in movies versus the reality in real life.  I thought it would be fun to share some of the differences once again here on the Whiner’s Club for you all to ponder. (Naturally on this site I am adding my own humorous touches) however, next time you go to the movies look for more to add to my list below.

·      Groceries look great in that perfectly crisp brown grocery bag.

            (Look for that perfectly placed French bread, celery or 

             carrot tops sticking out of the top of a perfect grocery 

             bag. I don’t know about you but my food doesn’t look  

             that great, my bags are torn and broken. 

            Where do these people shop?

·      They always find a parking space in front of or across the street of 

      the building they are going to.  Especially in New York.  (Go Figure.  Who get’s that lucky in a very busy big city?  That certainly has never happed to me, but if it ever does I’ll be looking around for the movie crew and cameras!)

·      Plain girls become pretty simply by removing their glasses and   

                              rearranging their hair. (I have tried this for many hours in front of 

                              the mirror. I’m still waiting. I don’t think it works.)

·      A single bullet can explode a car instantly. (No kidding.  I think maybe this is for Mythbusters to try.)

·      All bombs have very large numerical displays so you know when they will blow.  (This is always good to know should you find such a devise.  I personally worry about such things.)

·      The ventilation system of any building is a perfect place to hide.

(Not only that, but you can move throughout the system easily finding your way around to where ever you need to go, and never get lost.  Imagine that. Simply amazing!)

·      A man will show no pain while having a very physical tough fight, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.  (What a baby.)

WANT SOME MORE?

·      Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds.

(This is a skill I hope one day to achieve.)

·      Computer screen instantly “wake up”, instantly find what you are seeking, and download complex/heavy files amazingly fast. (I wish computer manufacturers and web capacity gurus would take notice of the nanosecond speed. They could learn a thing or two about computers and the web.)

·      If you start to dance in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. 
(This one is true. I have proof. Check this out!)

Well… I think you get the picture. Next time you are watching a movie look for those scenes where the reality is different – it is such a fun game to play.  And please feel free to share your observations.