Can One Communicate Through Texting? I can't!

Anyone with children over the age of 13 know that having a cell phone

and using it for phone calling is passe. If you want to get your kids attention

you need to text. Getting their attention and getting information are two 

different things. Just because you can connect doesn’t mean you can 

communicate. Is it me or is it just too hard to get a concise and clear answer? 

Perhaps I’m just too old?

Take a recent event in my household.

3:19pm            

I received a call from my oldest upset and angry that his car had broken down

on the way to practice in San Francisco (45 minutes away/50+ miles).

After a long discussion I had with him concerning his options.

He told me he would make a decision and then call me back. 

(And if you are a parent you can predict that no phone call followed in a timely manner.)

After a couple of cell phone calls and leaving messages I resorted to texting.

4:34 pm                

Mom – What’s the plan?

(The initial plan involved him having the car towed prior to practice and me

driving up and picking him up at 9pm. If that was to happen I had to

cancel my plans and juggle some things.)

6:53pm               

Son - I’m going to tow it and come back in the morning

(Ok. But tow it when? When I pick you up? Now? When? 

You text “come back in the morning. Does that mean you are staying with 

a friend in the city tonight?)

7:18pm                 

Mom -  I’m still planning on leaving at 8pm to get you. Am I still picking you up? 

From your message I’m assuming that you are staying with a friend in the city

and the car and you are in a safe place? Talk to me!

7:38pm                 

Son – I’m safe. Coming home tonight

(Coming home tonight? With me? With car in tow?)

7:38pm                 

Mom – Who is bringing you home? Me? Or someone else?

(Why am I so confused about my role here?)

8:21pm               

Son -  I’m in the tow truck, on my way to the repair shop

(Oh, finally and answer I can understand!)

8:21pm                 

Mom – Ok. Call me when you are close and I’ll come pick you up.

                           

 Son – OK. Will do

(Finally we are communicating.)

8:50pm                 

Son – I’ll be at repair shop in 5

Mom – Ok I’m leaving now.

                            

A couple of other noteworthy moments concerning this exchange:

I’m  exhausted after being in a high state of alert for over 5 hours.

And after copying our texting exchange into this blog I notice several things:

I text a lot of words, and my son does not.

I use punctuation and he does not.

(Obviously I am a poor texter. I guess I am too old for this sort of thing.)

I miss talking on the phone.

Living in the Moment - Being Present

I have been pondering my next whine for a couple of weeks now, and then this morning the fates aligned and there it was. I had been giving thought as to why many people seem to be clueless. Not dumb clueless, but more like unaware. Simple things such as being aware of what is happening around you, or noticing how your behavior affects others. Basic things like intuition, observation or even conversation.  These things seem lost these days. And what I mean by lost is that, I do not think many individuals would list awareness, intuition, observation and conversation on their list of life skills.
(Which is sad really.)  Why is that?  Because people do not live in the moment. People are not present.

What causes people to not live in the moment and to not be present?  Well....
When one is constantly checking their email. When one is texting during dinner, or constantly answering their cell phone whenever or wherever they are. If one spends 6-8 hours playing online games, or is on Facebook for hours. Or is connected and plugged into Twitter all day everyday.
How can one be aware? All one is aware of is the constant clamoring of electronic technology for your attention. If you are paying attention to that techo-clamoring then you are not "living in the moment". And "being present" is really one of the things that life is all about. (Yeah, really.)

Don't get me wrong I think technology is useful, but it is addicting. And if you are addicted (and most of us are) then one obsesses and forgets how simple and quiet life can be.  One can even discover time they never knew they had.

Which brings me to an article in today's San Jose Mercury News about teachers at Shoreline High School (in Seattle) who challenged their high school students to go without social networking for a week. No texting, No Facebook, no cell phones! You need to read the article. The results were interesting.  (A great idea by the way, and not one student went through withdrawals.)

The high school students found that they had a difficult time conversing on a regular house phone. Why? Because in their words " It's emotion, not just little lines" (of text).  Some of them discovered time to do things like help around the house with chores, or rediscovered things they liked to do again like walking their dog or shooting hoops.  Parents enjoyed actual conversations with their children. (This is what I'm taking about!)  It is the little things. Devoting your time to pursue something when you are focused on only one thing (and not constantly plugged in) makes for quality of life.

Being present and living in the moment allows for self reflection and observation. It allows for personal contact with others and it slows down time. (Ok, it slows down the perception of time) that in a way makes day to day living less stressful and makes interaction with others and the world more personal and satisfying.

If you are in need of a new year's resolution - give yourself time to "be in the present".
Resist the urge to answer your cell phone when you are in line at the grocery store.
Stop texting on the dinner table or while at the movies. And for pete's sake quit talking on your cell phone while driving. I want you to enjoy the moment. I want you to practice "being present" (but don't call me because I'll be busy posting on Facebook).

Manners and Movies don't Mix

Last week my family and I braved the crowds to watch Harry Potter.  I was looking forward to this time together. Once inside the theater I started hoping I was not going to regret that decision.  This was not based on my family’s behavior, but the behavior of others.  I am happy to report that while there were indications  (prior to the movie starting) that the audience would have ill-mannered members it actually behaved quite well (all except some idiot with a laser pointer. )

The idiot with the laser pointer was tame compared to some of my theater experiences.  Seems like manners and movies don’t really mix these days. (Though many of us would agree manners in general have been on the decline.) I thought I would compile a list of offenses (none that should be new to you) that usually send me scrambling for the movie theater manager.  (That’s right this woman is a tattletale.) And some ways I handle these situations that may work for you too.  

An infant in the movie theater

Get a babysitter!  (I adore babies and children, but even I draw the line here. )

Under aged children watching inappropriate movies

Poor parenting skills, selfish, ignorant and unaware? 

(Dare I say… all of these?  Yup – I dare.)

Talking during the movies

What about this situation makes you think you are at home? Go to the nearest

Startbucks if you need time to verbally socialize.  (I have been known to yell “ENOUGH – BE QUITE NOW” in my best angry mommy voice. This usually works. Even my husband trembles.)

Cell phones or texting

I must admit with the whole texting craze cell phone are not ringing. I don’t mind this actually, but should my kids (or group) I am with start texting -  I use my best dirty looks.  (I have perfected my dirty looks to academy award level acting. Watch our Merle Streep.)

Kicking a chair or putting feet up on the chair you are sitting in.

Don't parents raise their kids to keep their feet off the furniture? 

(Only solution is to pull an Ace Ventura Pet Detective. Stand up, turn towards the person behind you, wave your hand in front of your face (like there is a bad odor) and yell,  “PU!  Your feet smell like crap! Could you please keep them down and away from me!”  Works everytime. Makes Jim Carrey proud.)

Laser pointer

Someone thinking it is amusing to project a laser onto the screen while the movie is on.

(I would have loved to have taken that laser pointer and shoved it up a certain unmentionable orifice. Fortunately for the laser owner I could not triangulate their position.)

Leaving trash.

This sloppy, shocking behavior can be attributed to the decline of western civilization.

 ( It’s either that or these people live in filth homes, and have never heard of trash cans and personal responsibility.)

There you have it. 

At least 7 annoying activities people do in the movie theater to drive us (or possibly just me) crazy.  If you have more activities to add to the list please share. And if you have crazy stories to tell – DO TELL!  (Best story gets 2 free movie passes to AMC)

Act your age? For me - Heck no!

Ok – confession time.  I am just over 50 and quite frankly I am not sure how I got to be this age.  I don’t feel 50.  I find myself contemplating how my age affects every aspect of my life. (Is this middle age or just my latest obsession?)

Quite frankly age never has been an issue for me except maybe when I was growing up, and looking forward to those milestones. You all know those childhood milestones – dating age, drivers license, drinking age, etc… In fact when you are younger time just seems to drag by.  Then you hit that mystical age when all of a sudden time speeds up and in seemingly in a blink of an eye you are middle aged. (How in the heck did that happen?)

(So what is a young at heart woman to do?)

Well, for a start come up with a plan. Operation Young Babe.*

First part of my “young babe” plan was to observe the 13 to 20 year old female set: how they dress, what they wear, their current pop culture and trends. (Easy enough. I know quite a number of them.)

Next (and hardest part) will be to implement the most popular aspects of the younger set and VIOLA! (twenty years younger!)

Here’s my plan…  (Want to join me?)

Have a crush on Zac Efron. (He’s pretty cute. Don’t know who he is? Go back and do your homework. You may be old, but you aren’t dead!)

Become a Twilight Fan. (May be a little tough. At our age one can’t stand all that brooding. Though I could be on “Team Jacob”. I like dogs and six packs.)

Listen to techno, hip hop, rap, and pop music (You might get a headache, but learn just enough of the first verse so you seem cool when you start to sing it.)

Appropriate Attire  (Tight, below navel jeans, with g-string underwear (must be seen) , padded bra with an outrageous color (red is good) and make sure it can be seen through the fabric of your (almost sheer) very tight shirt. Note: Bra straps MUST be seen.

Plug in and join the X & Z generation (get social!)

Learn to text and the lingo involved (less typing means your carpal tunnel wont flair up and this is important at our age!) Create a facebook page. (Its free and you can hook up with over 250 of your closest friends!)   

        

So there you have it. A quick “Young Babe” plan to roll back the years. 

Try it and let me know how it works for you.  

(By the way... I’m totally loving my black bra and see through white tee look!)

* My apologies to my daughter, her friends, my Girl Scouts, my nieces,and the more sensible modest young ladies I know.