Shit My Kids Ruined

A while back a friend (Carl S.) sent me a

link to a website and recommended that

perhaps I use the website's theme

for my blog. When I went online my

mouth dropped open, and I was

amazed at the photo's that parents posted

on that site. Some made me laugh so hard

I cried. Boy, did it bring back memories.

I'd like to share some...

If you have children you know nothing is safe. Nothing.

Of course this situation begins as soon as your sweet child becomes

mobile. The minute that kid starts to walk and grab - your things are

not safe. For example - If you visit our home the first thing you will notice

is that there are no lamps. Every lighting fixture in our home is mounted on

the ceiling. Why you ask? Because our youngest broke every single lamp

in our household. Naturally it wasn't just lamps, but the poor lamps took the

brunt of the destruction. After reviewing our household budget we realized

that we really could not afford to subsidize the destruction, and so my

husband and I decided that the best defense was an offense, and so our

lighting was moved up and out of the way.

Then there was the time the my youngest and my middle child decided that

painting was a great form of expression. I went out in the yard to find two naked

kids running around covered in paint, as well as the play structure, house, patio furniture, tree, dog... (You get the idea.)

Ok. So we all know small kids can ruin stuff.

We all know that the younger crowd can reek havoc, but how about older kids? Does the destruction magically stop? Is it just a phase?

Do they hit ten years of age and stop? Nope. They just get sneakier about it.

Just this weekend I was dusting my home when I lifted a cute little

statue and the head dropped off. Now, how in the heck did that happen?

When? And who the heck was responsible? Now, don't get me wrong.

I can be very accepting of accidents, but to break something and not

say a word? Who raised these kids? Is it just too much to ask your

children to just come up and say "Sorry, I broke it?" (Apparently it is.)

And it is these little things (the not being told when things break) that

start to get my mommy blood boiling. "Who put a hole in the wall?"

No answer. How did door frame break off the wall? Blank Stare.

"Why is the vase cracked and leaking water on the floor? Watching

TV ignore mode. (Grrrrrr!)

My parents had it right.

When I was growing up we had furniture (just not as fancy as some

of our friends). I had a theory that my parents had bad taste. But then

when my brother, sister and I went off to college we returned to find the

house transformed. Walls painted, new floors, stylish furniture, beautiful

accessories. Then it hit me. My parents did not have bad taste.

My parents had kids!

I guess that no amount of "whining" will change the fact that in life

things break, or get a lot of help from your children. Either way when you

look at this website Carl found, you will most likely smile and think how

fortunate you where that no one in your house did some of the stuff you will

see. I know I am.

"Shit My kids Ruined (or otherwise made filthy, distasteful, gross or painful."