Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Manners and Movies don't Mix

Last week my family and I braved the crowds to watch Harry Potter.  I was looking forward to this time together. Once inside the theater I started hoping I was not going to regret that decision.  This was not based on my family’s behavior, but the behavior of others.  I am happy to report that while there were indications  (prior to the movie starting) that the audience would have ill-mannered members it actually behaved quite well (all except some idiot with a laser pointer. )

The idiot with the laser pointer was tame compared to some of my theater experiences.  Seems like manners and movies don’t really mix these days. (Though many of us would agree manners in general have been on the decline.) I thought I would compile a list of offenses (none that should be new to you) that usually send me scrambling for the movie theater manager.  (That’s right this woman is a tattletale.) And some ways I handle these situations that may work for you too.  

An infant in the movie theater
Get a babysitter!  (I adore babies and children, but even I draw the line here. )

Under aged children watching inappropriate movies
Poor parenting skills, selfish, ignorant and unaware? 
(Dare I say… all of these?  Yup – I dare.)

Talking during the movies
What about this situation makes you think you are at home? Go to the nearest
Startbucks if you need time to verbally socialize.  (I have been known to yell “ENOUGH – BE QUITE NOW” in my best angry mommy voice. This usually works. Even my husband trembles.)

Cell phones or texting
I must admit with the whole texting craze cell phone are not ringing. I don’t mind this actually, but should my kids (or group) I am with start texting -  I use my best dirty looks.  (I have perfected my dirty looks to academy award level acting. Watch our Merle Streep.)

Kicking a chair or putting feet up on the chair you are sitting in.
Don't parents raise their kids to keep their feet off the furniture? 
(Only solution is to pull an Ace Ventura Pet DetectiveStand up, turn towards the person behind you, wave your hand in front of your face (like there is a bad odor) and yell,  “PU!  Your feet smell like crap! Could you please keep them down and away from me!”  Works everytime. Makes Jim Carrey proud.)

Laser pointer
Someone thinking it is amusing to project a laser onto the screen while the movie is on.
(I would have loved to have taken that laser pointer and shoved it up a certain unmentionable orifice. Fortunately for the laser owner I could not triangulate their position.)

Leaving trash.
This sloppy, shocking behavior can be attributed to the decline of western civilization.
 ( It’s either that or these people live in filth homes, and have never heard of trash cans and personal responsibility.)

There you have it. 

At least 7 annoying activities people do in the movie theater to drive us (or possibly just me) crazy.  If you have more activities to add to the list please share. And if you have crazy stories to tell – DO TELL!  (Best story gets 2 free movie passes to AMC)

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